What Can I Do When My Boss Continues to Degrade and Cuss at Me in Front of My Colleagues
Bad bosses are the bane of many employee's existences. No matter what industry you work in, how old you are or even what your position is, the vast majority of us have dealt with a bad boss at some point in our careers. There's plenty of ways a boss can be "bad": poor understanding of the company's needs, terrible at planning ahead, being clueless on what's happening day-to-day, and so on. Situations like those are surely annoying to deal with, but few boss behaviors are more insidious than bullying. One common way bosses bully employees is through humiliating them in front of others. These reasons bosses behave this way are varied and complex, but one thing is for sure – we all want to put an end to it. If you're wondering what you should do when your boss criticizes you in front of others, don't miss the five tactics we discuss below.
Why Is My Boss Always Picking On Me?
Since every boss is different, I can't give a hard and fast reason as to why your boss is picking on you specifically. Instead, I'll talk about a variety of reasons why bosses act like bullies at work and a few theories as to why your boss singles you out – it's happened to me, too! Regardless of the reason, a bully boss is almost always a combination of insecure, unhappy and sadistic.
Here are some reasons why bosses bully specific employees.
Your boss may criticize you in front of others because they're threatened by you. Perhaps you have skills or abilities that they do not. Maybe you're more popular, smarter or more attractive and this makes them uncomfortable.
If you're always happy and they're miserable, they probably don't like it – as they say, 'misery loves company'! Your boss may want to push you until you're as unhappy as they are.
A boss who's always picking on you may see you as weaker than they are. This doesn't mean you are weaker, it just means they see you that way.
If your boss has an unhappy life, they may pick on you as a means to vent their frustration. When your boss criticizes you in front of others, they may be making an example out of you to keep the rest in line.
Lastly, a boss who criticizes you in front of others most likely believes that they're gaining favor with your coworkers at your expense. Again, this is what they believe is going to happen, but you have equal say in whether or not that's the case – more on that below.
These are just a few of the many reasons why your boss may pick on you specifically. Now let's talk about what to do about it.
It's All About How You Respond…
Before we get into specific tactics, here's an essential rule of thumb for dealing with an overly-critical boss.
Your response will make or break the situation.
It takes two to tango, as they say. In order for your boss to humiliate you, you first must feel humiliated…and show it.
If your boss wants to make you feel bad about yourself or your work, they only succeed once you let them.
In order for your boss to make you upset, you must first become upset .
In short, you're in control of yourself. Your boss can try to do whatever they like, but they can't make you feel or act any particular way – that's up to you.
When Your Boss Criticizes You in Front of Others, Do These 5 Things
Let's get down to brass tac(tics). Heh. When your boss criticizes you in front of others, whether it be within earshot or in a formal meeting, here are five techniques to use!
- Stay Calm In The Face Of Criticism
- Be Introspective: Is There Truth To The Criticism?
- Ask Questions: 'Pull' Your Boss Into A Real Discussion
- Point Out Inconsistencies, Contradictions & Flaws In Their Logic
- If You've Done Nothing Wrong, Disagree
Here's a bit more about why each of these tactics is important.
Stay Calm
When criticizing you, your boss almost certainly wants to get a negative reaction from you. It's important not to give them one.
Think about how your situation looks to others. If you see your boss criticizing a coworker and they get emotional or upset, how does it look? If nothing else, reacting in this fashion adds legitimacy to whatever your boss is saying, whether it's true or not.
Others judge you largely by your behavior and demeanor, not always by what's true. By staying calm, you'll maintain a positive image in front of your coworkers and deprive your boss of getting an emotional reaction.
Read Next: Is My Boss Manipulating Me? Here Are 12 Signs Of A Manipulative Boss
Be Introspective: Is There Truth To The Criticism?
When your boss criticizes you in front of others, it could be legitimate.
Regardless of whether or not your boss is a bully, they:
- Are your boss in terms of managing your work and output.
- Aren't wrong for pointing out flaws or mistakes, should it be warranted.
A boss can be right to criticize you even if they do so in a less-than-tactful manner. In turn, it's important to consider whether or not you've actually made an error or need to make changes.
By being introspective, you'll accurately identify areas in which you can improve while maintaining a professional relationship with your boss.
Read Next: I Don't Like My Job: What Should I Do? A Few Things To Keep In Mind
Ask Questions: 'Pull' Your Boss Into A Real Discussion
Your bully boss may very well criticize you in an effort to be petty. Said another way, you may not be doing anything that warrants a specific call-out by your boss, especially in front of others. That doesn't mean they won't do it!
In turn, ask questions. Ask your boss what you should do different. Request pointers for how you should deal with specific situations. Ask complex, problem-solving questions.
By asking questions, you'll pull your boss into a real discussion. Should they be criticizing you out of pettiness, their intentions will quickly become exposed.
Not for nothing, but asking pointed questions in front of others will force your boss to 'perform' in front of everyone. They'll potentially make themselves look bad at their own expense!
Read Next: How To Stop Being Too Nice At Work: 12 Simple, Quick Techniques
Point Out Inconsistencies, Contradictions & Flaws In Their Logic
When your boss criticizes you in front of coworkers, it's essential that you point out any inconsistencies, contradictions and flaws in their logic.
While this sounds unprofessional, think about this. Firstly, a good boss rarely makes their employee look bad in front of others – if they do, it's probably not intended. Secondly, a bully boss that criticizes you for nefarious reasons isn't trying to be professional.
In turn, poking holes in your bosses' criticism may be the best option.
If your boss specifically calls you out for no good reason, you have every right to ask questions, but also point out flaws in their thinking. After all, you're simply defending yourself by doing so.
For example, if your boss criticizes the way your files are organized, but you never have issues locating documents and there's no set procedure in place, there's no harm in pointing out that you work fine this way and there's no other way you've ever been told to do it.
Taking this further, if your files are just as organized as anyone else's, you aren't doing anything wrong by pointing this out. Why should your practices be criticized when no one else's are?
Just because they're your boss, doesn't mean they have carte blanche to do whatever they want without retort.
Read Next: How To Not Get Bullied At Work: 10 Essential Tactics
If You've Done Nothing Wrong, Disagree
When your boss criticizes you at work and you've truly done nothing wrong, simply disagree. This is particularly important when in front of coworkers, as they'll begin to see you as weak if your boss just pushes you around recklessly.
For instance, your boss may criticize you for poor planning when something doesn't fall into place correctly. Meanwhile, this happened for reasons completely outside of your own control. Simply disagree and state why.
Your boss may be unhappy for planning not materializing, and for good reason. That doesn't mean they get to use you as the punching bag though!
Why take unnecessary criticism for no reason?
Your boss, petty or not, has a right to point out flaws or issues when warranted. They have no right do it, however, when it's unwarranted.
By disagreeing with their petulant behavior, you're standing your ground without being unprofessional. Your coworkers will respect you for having gumption and your boss will know they can't just push you around. Establishing boundaries is healthy, even with bosses.
Read Next: How To Deal With A Coworker You Don't Trust: The Do's & Don'ts
PROMOTED
When Your Boss Criticizes You in Front of Others, You Know What To Do
In the past, you may not have known how to handle your overly critical boss, which has most likely left you feeling confused, frustrated and disoriented. Fear not – you now have several tools in your belt made specifically for handling such situations. The next time your boss criticizes you in front of others for no good reason, you'll know exactly how to handle it. Best of luck and thanks for reading.
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Source: https://solvepmproblems.com/when-your-boss-criticizes-you-in-front-of-others-do-these-5-things/
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